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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year the dog is still excited to see you."

"Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it."

"A beautiful blonde walks into a bar, and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one."

"My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"The Indian baking festival was kind of a bust. It was a naan event."

"Did you hear that Trump is getting penis enlargement surgery? It's gonna be yuge."

"I am not well... ... neither am I a river!"

"How does Davy Crockett take his pie? A'lamode"

"RIDDLER: how'd you find my hideout? BATMAN: a little birdie told me *winks* SMALL BIRD MAN: *lands on his shoulder* please use my full name"

"Why do ghosts make the best thieves? Because possession is 9/10 of the law"