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Joke of the Day

"Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his electricity supply after being arrested. He was charged with a salt."

"I farted in an Apple Store Not my fault they don't have Windows"

"I chose a cell phone carrier for my mom based on high percentages of dropped calls."

"My wife's an experienced navigator, she gives great headings."

"What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth? Gladiator"

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters."

"When I misplace something and you say ""where did you have it last"" I feel like you don't know what misplace means."

"What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire? Arrr son!"

"I literally use figuratively in literally every occasion where I am literally speaking figuratively."

"A little boy has diarrhea... Mom: What the hell do you need Viagra for? Boy: Isn't that what you give to Dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"