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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone."

"One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol."

"You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial."

"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"If all women said yes There would be no more rape."

"If you want to get rich why should you keep your mouth shut? Because silence is golden."

"how do you starve a black person? the same way you would a white person.... you racist."

"My son came into the room and said there was a man knocking the door with a beard. That's probably why I didn't hear him."

"I hate it when people say Amsterdam is only for smoking weed. I mean c'mon, there's prostitutes too!"

"A guy walks into the psychiatrists office where I work wearing nothing but Saran Wrap undies... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""