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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a gamer and a pot of boiling water? A pot of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it."

"If Twitter is a rave then Facebook is a Tupperware party."

"Made a friend today. Well, I knocked on my window when a guy walked past my house. I'll name him Terry."

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!"

"Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home"

"ATTENTION: We will be performing live power tool identification exercises today. This is not a drill."

"Always ask your girlfriend if she is actually a transvestite before you start dating her. I learned it the hard way."

"My dog never listens to me, and I think he might have a speech impediment... He keeps balking at me when I try to tell him to be quiet"

"Four gay men walk into a bar and there's only one available stool. What do they do? Flip the stool over."

"I'll bet the lady on this bus can't fart. She'd never shut up long enough to build the required pressure."