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Joke of the Day

"""is this the Krusty crab?"" No! This is Patrick!"

"Why Hitler was late to work? He accidently didn't took the second left but the third Reich."

"How do you get Reddit to go ape-shit? Tell a domestic violence joke."

"Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry? they have too many ohms to be good conductors."

"1: Acquire scuba gear. 2: Strap duck decoy to head. 3: Dive in local pond. 4: Enjoy unlimited free bread crumbs."

"Why can't women ski? there's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom."

"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"

"I'm not racist! I have a colored TV."

"Willie saw some dynamite, Couldn't understand it quite; Curiosity never pays: It rained Willie seven days."

"My 12 yr. old girl is having a sleepover tonight. She told me, ""DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!"" I'm considering twerking to Ace of Base later."