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Joke of the Day

"I found a dog (no joke). If he's yours let me know. Male german shepherd. I am teaching him how to use a gun and drive a motorcycle."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm not allowed up on the couch!"

"I bought a fancy new clock radio today. It cost me alarm and a leg."

"Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers."

"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."

"Does ""fear of commitment"" count towards a handicap parking space??"

"How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America? By occident"

"Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well."

"The Little Mermaid was a hoarder."

"How do you find the pilot at a party? He'll tell you."