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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm not allowed up on the couch!"

"HR: You know why we called you down? Me:Hm. Promotion? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking."

"Last night my wife said that our bed had seen better days. She's right. When she stopped at her mum's last week, I had a threesome in it on Monday and Tuesday."

"I can't stand Russian Dolls... They're always so full of themselves!"

"I've been cheating on you guys. Lately, I've been spending my time on my job and real life. They don't mean anything to me, I swear."

"TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep...."

"How do you make a handkerchief dance? ....put a little boogie in it. :| I'm sorry."

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."

"What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate? You make me hard"

"""I'd UberBlack for you."" - what I assume a pick up line in 2016 sounds like"