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Joke of the Day

"*Someone sends me a 4 minute video* me: [42 seconds later] wow that's so awesome thanks for sharing!"

Next Joke
 
"Breaking news: The world is running out of plastic. Citizens everywhere say its because of Nicki Minaj's implants."
"What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple."
"I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low."
"[talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] ""FIFTEEN-LOVE"""
"[Snake family queueing to get on the train] [They spot Samuel L Jackson already on board] SNAKE DAD: Not this shit again."
"How do you gently wake up a sleeping baby? Don't preheat the oven when you bake it."
"A man walks in to a bar His alcoholism is destroying his family."
"I just took out a spider so big that, moments after, the postman rang the doorbell and I thought it was the spider."
"Womens are crazy And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."