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Joke of the Day

"Breaking news: The world is running out of plastic. Citizens everywhere say its because of Nicki Minaj's implants."

"You Can Tune a Piano but You Can't Tuna Fish"

"The fun thing about wigs is when someone complements you on your hair, you can rip it off and say, ""Here. Take it. No, I insist."""

"What do you call a porno with aliens in it? A science friction movie."

"Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon."

"What's a Scientologist's favourite piece of furniture in Rivendell? Elrond's cupboard."

"How is the porn industry different from every other career? It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early."

"[shipwreck diary] Day 3: dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very impressive."

"They say when you shave it grows back thicker. Can't wait to see my new cock."

"Why is the new Star Wars film called Rogue One? Because it's a rogue film - a Star Wars prequel that won't be complete shit."