172793
Joke of the Day
"Do not use the word ""ghetto"" indiscriminately unless referring to that booty there. Daaaaamn!"
Next Joke
"Want to hear a joke? Women's Rights"
"Girl and Boy Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."
"What's the best way to announce that you're lactose-intolerant I'm allergic to Wait for it Dairy"
"Q: What dinosaur loves pancakes? A: A tri-syrup-tops."
"Two types of people that irritate me: 1. A drunk person when I'm sober. 2. A sober person when I'm drunk."
"I win all games of strip-poker by starting out nude."
"Nervous about our 1st ultrasound exam. What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds? What if it's just farting noises? Is it graded on a curve?"
"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."
"My mom was in a horrible car accident on her way to pick up lunch today. It's really bad guys, I need your prayers. I'm so hungry."