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Joke of the Day

"Nervous about our 1st ultrasound exam. What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds? What if it's just farting noises? Is it graded on a curve?"

"By all means, get married. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

"Donald Trump? Donald Trump"

"Q: What did one candle say to the other candle? A: Are you going out tonight?"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload."

"A black couple leave a generous tip at a restaurant.... Just kidding."

"What's the best thing about a penis? Think long and hard before you answer this one."

"How do you kill vegetarian vampires? With a steak to the heart."

"Why did the snowman start smiling Because he saw the snow blower coming"

"Seriously when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am where did it go? Heidelburg-er Germany!"