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Joke of the Day
"I win all games of strip-poker by starting out nude."
Next Joke
"My boss kept saying he's dating himself. I told him he could do better."
"Republicans: Don't let Syrians in! Trump: Don't let ANY Muslims in! Republicans: TOO FAR (dude be cool, we've got an election to win)"
"My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault."
"There was a shooting at the Apple store last night. There were no iWitnesses."
"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."
"What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged? An amputee"
"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"
"If a girl elongates her words when she's texting me, I know she's down to fuckkkk, developmentally disabled, or bothhhhh."
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, if you can get 'em in there."