172784

Joke of the Day

"being in a club at my age feels more like i'm being set-up for an episode of ""To Catch a Predator"""

"The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little ""boyfriend"" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison."

"I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night... ""You're a big lass, aren't you?"" I said. ""Tell me something I don't know,"" she replied with a tear in her eye. ""Salad tastes nice."""

"A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: ""You must be single."" The man answers: ""Wow, how did you know?"" Cashier: ""Because you're ugly."""

"Help me reddit. I've quit smoking and I'm gaining weight Before, I only had to reach into my pockets to feel a little lighter."

"I call my dick Ambidextrous Because I fuck girls left and right."

"What's the difference between Bluetooth and The Titanic? The Titanic sinks."

"My girlfriend and I are both feminists But I'm better since I'm a guy"

"What kind of house does Fonzie live in? An ""A"" frame..."

"I generally don't trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision."