172766

Joke of the Day

"An englishman a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar The welshman isn't there because he's still at the euros"

"No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger."

"Isis has hidden bombs inside alphabet spaghettios. If they go off they could spell disaster."

"Dating is like a 2-day-old box of chocolates. The good ones are already taken."

"The President of Nintendo Died... The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U"

"Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign of depression."

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't go around thinking he's Bono."

"My manager at the millinery has a really short temper I mean he gets really angry at the drop of a hat!"

"Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour."