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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?"

"What did Helen Keller say when she won the lottery? uunnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!"

"Hard work pays off in the future but laziness pays off now"

"Two condoms are walking down a street... When they come across a gay bar, one condom turns to the other and asks, ""What do you think? Feel like getting shit-faced tonight?"""

"How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it."

"Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges? As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange."

"Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep"

"For what I lack in imagination, I more than make up for in something else."

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""

"Draw me like one of your French Fries."