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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool? A broad abroad on a board aboard."

"What is the fastest cake in the world? scone. 's gone"

"It's true what they say: No news is Fox news."

"I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people."

"When someone tells me to have a safe flight it's like ok I will do my best but just so you know I am not the pilot of the airplane"

"I'm not sure why my dog enjoys watching me have sex but I'm sure deep down she's thinking ""B itch stole my move..."""

"Some girl wanted me to take her to see 50 Shades of Grey... So I took her to Sherwin-Williams."

"Using zero-ply toilet paper, aka the cardboard tube"

"Why did the bees build the hive? It's in their beehavior."

"What has 50 legs but can't walk? Half a centipede."