172717

Joke of the Day

"I thought removing a snail's shell would make it faster... Turns out, it only makes it more sluggish."

"I have really bad hay fever Which means I have an uncontrollable desire to have sex with the straw man from the wizard of Oz"

"My brother used to think the suicide lane is for committing suicide. He only made the mistake once though"

"My girlfriend said she would leave me if I did't stop singing The Monkee's. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer."

"Criminal on the electric chair. The officer asks: Any last wishes? The criminal: Please hold my hand"

"DBZA Joke! Frieza: How do you work the Dragon Balls? Nail: Did you work the shaft?"

"What do you call a funny jar of sauce Lmayo"

"hey can I use your bathroom? cashier: only paying customers jesus...ok just give me 9 double whoppers with cheese, a chocolate shake, 2-"

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!"

"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""