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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a boner you don't want? A groaner."

"I only get laid because of who I am... A rapist! -Rodney Dangerfield, RIP"

"Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats 20."

"I've saved a ton of money on Birthday Cards by switching to Facebook!"

"I'll have a whiskey please. ""Ma'am, this is McDonald's."" Sorry, a McWhiskey."

"Hi, my name's Ray. I'll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun. *misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*"

"The good news First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over. Sorry for the repost."