1181

Joke of the Day

"Hi, my name's Ray. I'll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun. *misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*"

"Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride"

"There should be a prenatal test to tell if you're gonna have one of those kids with tiny teeth and giant gums."

"They say that there are rising levels of LGBT population in Spain... There's not a day goes by that a Deigo's Bi"

"Me: *drops toddler off at gym daycare* DC: Which room will you be working out in? Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower."

"Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks."

"How do you get two priest to fight to the death? Throw a small boy between them. How do you kill the other you ask? Throw in Michael Jackson."

"How does William Shakespeare make chili? With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question."

"China has recently banned puns. In hindsight it might be a punenforcable law."

"Riddle me this Which does not belong: * Nipple clamps * Soy * Vibrator Answer: The nipple clamps, the other two are meat substitutes."