172655

Joke of the Day

"I have a lot in common with my brake rotors.. We're both warped and barely functioning."

"When the girl working the counter says ""would you like fries with that?"" say..""are you calling me fat??"" then burst into tears. Free meal."

"I'm dreading summer because I'll be subjected to my Facebook friends' pictures of the temperature readout from inside their vehicles."

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."

"A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and the bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

"I have benefits if anybody needs a friend."

"I found a bunch of money I didn't know I had while cleaning for company... ...it was like Christmas."

"HER: I'm leaving you ME: Is it because I'm too literal? HER: no it's just we're not working out ME: *buys both of us a gym membership*"

"Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave."

"What's the difference between a hungry girl and a horny girl? Where she puts the cucumber."