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Joke of the Day

"When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they're gonna start throwing cutlery at each other."

"two conceited people having sex... ...girl says ""tight, huh?"" guy replys ""nah, just full"""

"Customs officials in Europe recently seized a shipment of cocaine that was addressed to the Vatican. Which can only mean that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford just received a giant box of communion wafers."

"Have you guys heard my joke about elevators? It's funny on multiple levels"

"""Tell them I just left and should be there any minute."" -Every delivery guy, ever"

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and as many as you can fit in the ash tray."

"Why don't you want to eat pussy in the morning? Have you ever tried to spread a grilled cheese?"

"What kind of cereal does Microsoft make? Wind O's"

"Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today"

"What's all pent-up and missing a cunt? Chelsea Manning."