76827

Joke of the Day

"HER: I'm leaving you ME: Is it because I'm too literal? HER: no it's just we're not working out ME: *buys both of us a gym membership*"

"Knock, Knock Knock, Penny?"

"Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike? A tire."

"What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary? I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out"

"A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."

"Jesus walks into a bar ""Just 12 waters please"", while winking at his disciples."

"I don't understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living."

"Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop? The killer was said to be goodwill hunting."

"Gatorade: ""We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing."" Under his breath: ""Because 'Is it in you?' sounds wrong now."""

"My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people's ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn't know fuck about shit."