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Joke of the Day

"I'm dreading summer because I'll be subjected to my Facebook friends' pictures of the temperature readout from inside their vehicles."

"A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog.. Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going."

"If you're throwing babies out with your bathwater, I don't think parenting is for you."

"I was leaving the golf course yesterday... when I ran into a guy whose face was all scratched up. I was like ""holy shit man your face is all bloody, are you ok?"" ""Yeah, but I just blew an eagle on 18"

"I've always been bad at studying for tests.. ...but recently I noticed I work a lot harder while listening to the 50 shades of Grey soundtrack"

"Pregnant coworker with 3 children who always complains about money: When are YOU going to start having kids? Me: When are you going to stop?"

"61% of internet traffic is from bots... ...the other 39% is Reddit users manically hitting refresh to check their upvotes on new posts"

"France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders Italy changes sides Both lose"

"off to see the new anti-semitic Tyler Perry movie, ""Jews Control the Madea."""

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? 'cause if they fell forward, they'd still be in the Fuckin' boat! I'll show myself out."