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Joke of the Day
"It's funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom Until they're flashing behind you"
Next Joke
"grey matter What's grey and comes in quarts? An elephant."
"What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray."
"Here Here Here Here Here Here Here -1 sided text conversation between me and my 18yo daughter because all I do is pick her up from places."
"Fifty Shades of Grey was disappointing. All those blindfolds and not a single person swung at a pinata."
"I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon. -Emo Philips"
"WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling."
"When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?"
"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? Pilot, you fucking racist!"
"nurse: ""if youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half"" me: [visibly confused] wife: ""the grapes keith not the baby"""