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Joke of the Day

"A wife says to her husband ... ""I don't like you pushing me around all the time and talking behind my back"" Husband say ""Well honey what do you expect you're in a wheelchair"""

"Don't do the pathetic baby talk when talking to the baby. They don't understand you any better. You don't go up to a dog and start barking."

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence *edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*"

"Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes Completely harmless till you light one on fire and place it in your mouth"

"If the world was a giant sweater, where would all the black people live In the hood"

"What is the difference between a stalking African Pygmy and a jogging Jane Fonda? One of them is a cunning runt."

"Ellen Degeneres Found Dead She Was Found Face Down In Ricki Lake :D"

"ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya"

"Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds."

"A friend walked up to me while I was playing guitar and said ""Sick strat, bro"" I said ""Did you just assume my fender? you bigot?"""