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Joke of the Day

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?? A Brazilian"

"What's dumber than a box of rocks The hippie that carries them around the country."

"What's ISIS's favourite song? Niggas in Paris"

"If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk."

"My dad's favorite composer is Beethoven's little brother... Covetoven. Get it? DO YOU?"

"*shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*"

"I'm giving up, folks. Years of letters and phone calls making my case quite articulately but they still won't give the Muppets nipples."

"if you dont know what do to with ur life why not just lay on the floor and think about how somewhere in the world a dolphin is backflippin"

"[house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

"You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you."