17249

Joke of the Day

"At this point I'm a little offended the lady at #Chipotle still asks what I want. This is my 4th burrito today. Bitch, I know you know me."

"I just thought of this masterpiece... No. No, I didn't because nobody here is ever original."

"How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants. ^lol"

"I went to a Mechanic when my car started making these awful noises but it just turned out to be Nickelback playing on the radio."

"New study shows AMAZING new way to cut down on clickbait! Well, that wasn't it..."

"I like my coffee like I like my Slaves... Free"

"Why is yogurt always in debt? Because it's Greek."

"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."

"What was Beethoven's favorite food? BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO RAP? I WILL RAP! - how I threaten my kids"