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Joke of the Day

"Having an argument between Mac and PC is like watching two old men with alzheimer's fight. Eventually they both break down and lose their memory."

"I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out."

"A man walks into a zoo only to find out the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"What is a priest's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"Did you hear about the kid who was born without eyelids? They used his foreskin to make eyelids. The poor little kid is gonna be *cock*eyed the rest of his life."

"what is michael J. Fox's favourite beverage? a vanilla shake"

"Can one of you please tell my ex husband that I died? I feel like it would be more believable coming from someone other than me."

"""Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"" ""Because we conceived her in Paris."" ""Ahh, thanks Dad! "" ""You're welcome, Backseat."""

"When someone says ""We can still be friends"" after a break up it's like saying...""The dog died but can we still keep it?"""

"I know a thousand ways to kill a man, and pretty much all of them are with an XBOX controller."