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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"" ""Because we conceived her in Paris."" ""Ahh, thanks Dad! "" ""You're welcome, Backseat."""

"I was looking for the sun at night, and then it dawned on me."

"If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk in to a bar.. Barman says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying."

"""What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!"" -Google."

"Whats the difference between a woman and a plate? You can lick a plate dry"

"I want to work for YouTube. It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!"

"Murder is legal if it happens after a morning person says ""WELL WELL WELLLLLL LOOK WHO FINALLY GOT UP"""

"In these tough times, you can pop in the Titanic DVD to watch rich people die painfully, their money powerless against the fury of nature"