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Joke of the Day

"""Pete's coming for dinner tonight."" ""Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?"" [Massive thud] ""I'll just check."""

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... Without a penis"

"I've feeding my kid Green Beans for St Patties Day so I can have green vomit on me without having to drink 26 green beers."

"What do you call an overweight Mexican? A MAXican"

"Conservatives keep telling me to find Jesus How am I supposed to find him if they want him sent back to mexico and want a wall to keep him out?"

"I'm having trouble finding a route to my rich aunt's funeral, Oh well, where there's a will... there's a way"

"Did you hear about the blind rabbi after the briss? He got the sack..."

"An Asian kid ask him mom: ""Mom, why do I have to score A in everything?"" Him mom replied: ""Because we are Asian, not a Bsian or Csian, or Failsian."""

"I stuck a ""Baby On Board"" sign on my minivan to warn the other drivers how fussy and tantrum-y I get when traffic's bad or I miss my nap."

"A Woman Comes To The Physician - Herr doctor! My husband is very sick! - OK. Get undressed and show me what does he complain of..."