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Joke of the Day
"I just dozed off for a minute and woke up freaking out because I thought I missed my exit."
Next Joke
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was."
"What do you call a person who uses multiple accounts to upvote their own memes? Unidank"
"Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am"
"guy: my dog just died girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog"
"What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending condescending"
"08 What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!"
"Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station? It is a day to be tankful."
"My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit."
"Knock knock, Who's there? Not Oscar Pistorius."