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Joke of the Day

"I just got a Sleep Number mattress, and it turns out my sleep number is 911. Because a night in my bed, you'll never forget."

"What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas? Sigh-lent night"

"how would u like your steak sir? we've got rare, ultra rare, legendary, fossil, or u can try and catch your own steak in the safari zone"

"Heading to a pumpkin patch with a cheeseburger. When pumpkins see me eating meat, they let their guard down. They never see it coming."

"Why are Jewish Men Circumcised? Because Jewish women don't touch anything unless it's 20% off!"

"What do you call a prostitute drinking tea in Seattle? Hooker Tea Washington."

"I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch (without leaving the house) with people whom I do not wish the share my cell number with..."

"I got a new book and I can't seem to put it down. That's the problem with slathering one's hands with rubber cement before touching things."

"Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back..."

"[Corny] Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack"