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Joke of the Day

"Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you."

"I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything."

"I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said ""it's me or your fishing."" Gee I miss her."

"Did you hear about the man who was born without any ears? Niether did he."

"What do you get if you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator."

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"

"What was John Lennons final hit? The pavement"

"Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks? The Just-Ice League."

"Would you get your phone if you dropped it in a toilet? 1996: eww that's gross 2016: head first without thinking"

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell bad."