171979

Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator."

"Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck!"

"pedophiles are the worst but a close runner-up would be the people who don't get excited when they win stuff on the radio"

"American Politics"

"Me: Can u send me those documents? Coworker: Yes, but u can actually get them by-- Me: Nope, don't try teaching me to fish. Not interested."

"Fact: In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my wi-fi came back on just as I was filling the cup."

"Knuckle tats: (M)(Y)(P)(A)(R)(E)(N)(T)(S) (W)(E)(R)(E)(R)(E)(L)(A)(T)(E)(D)"

"Why don't White Elephants run? because they Ele-cant....Can somebody explain this to me? (Seriously, I don't get it, is it like Elegant?)"

"what idiot caled it ""king arthur adn the knigts of the roumd table"" insted of a ""circumference sir conference"""

"Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am."