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Joke of the Day

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"

"My friend cooled himself to absolute zero... he's 0K now."

"Have you heard the one about the ignorant proctologist? He didn't know shit."

"There isn't such a thing as a communist school is there... They're all in classes?"

"2016 has been the year for unforeseen outcomes Something tells me 20/20 will be the year of hindsight."

"I'm not going to let my kids listen to symphonies and big bands... too much sax and violins"

"I want to make a font joke, but I'm just not bold enough."

"Red sea. Dolphins for some reason can't stop vacationing in Japan. Seriously, who told them that the coast was to die for."

"A muslim, a communist, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says hello Mr. President."

"Scientists say, six out of seven dwarves are not happy. -- As seen on QI."