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Joke of the Day

"What did the Jew say at the Football game? Get the quarter back!"

"Is sure that at a certain point, you are going to need to come to terms with your retardation."

"Someone took my spine and replaced it with theirs. I want to get my own back."

"Doctor Nervous by Three year old When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it?"""

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office covered head to toe in cellophane. The psychiatrist says, ""Sir, I can clearly see you're nuts."""

"My girlfriend told me I should grow a beard. If I wanted hair on my face, I would go down on her."

"I thought about starting a support group for pessimists... ...but why bother, it's not like it'd make any difference anyway..."

"Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!"

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"I'm a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard... we're gonna have problems."