172140

Joke of the Day

"That moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realize she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."

Next Joke
 
"Chelsea Clinton is so patriotic That she wore George Washington's wooden teeth for her speech last night"
"I just heard that someone at my gym drilled a hole in the wall of the girls locker room. Police are looking into it."
"[at church] ""I'm here for the blood."""
"I went to the shop and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."""
"In hindsight, I made two key mistakes on this family vacation: 1) Going on vacation 2) Taking my family"
"What do you get when you cross a flea with a rooster? An itchy cock."
"What do Fall Out Boy say after titty-fucking their girlfriends? THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES!"
"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age"
"[puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS"