172082
Joke of the Day
"I had to unplug my mom's life support today. She always told me to finish my vegetables."
Next Joke
"I wish there was an app that would let you take a picture of a woman and then it would tell you if she was into guys with race car beds."
"Watts a homonym?"
"When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue."
"A jaguar asked an colourful arsehole with a big nose to join him in hide and seek... Toucan play that game."
"My 1-year-old stabbed a stuffed animal with a broken plastic spoon. She learned to fight in prison."
"""I wanna fu*k you so bad right now."" ""WHAT!?"" ""Damn autocorrect, I meant ""hey"""
"Sup girl, I hear u like bad boys *I open the wrong side of juice carton* *evil spirit flies out* Oh, so that's why they say don't do that"
"I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is"
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who can't drive manual."