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Joke of the Day

"Told my girlfriend that there was a party in my pants and that she was invited. She asked if it was a search party :("

"Twice the cold doth striketh A dog, a ski cabin, and a leather jacket walk into the electric cloud being and merge into the one true demongod."

"They say ""confidence"" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say ""not banging my friends"" would be a very close 2nd"

"I was feeling a bit down today... So I breathed some helium. It picked me right up!"

"Hear about the porno in a hot air baloon? It was fucked up."

"Does Canada even have a president? Or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers?"

"You've heard of alphabet soup now get ready for Times new ramen"

"How do you confuse a heterosexual person? Eleven"

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"

"Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag."