172030

Joke of the Day

"When I see a person with facial tattoos, I also know that I will see them in handcuffs if I follow them around long enough."

"Humour is of two types below the belt and above the forehead."

"Knock, knock Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No you're a poo!"

"Who's going to lose the upcoming election? Society."

"What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction? You rub them the wrong way"

"What is the slight difference between a fencer's club and r/jokes You'll see a lot of ripostes in the first one"

"I'd hate to be Turkey this Christmas."

"[gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] ""17"" host: [looks at me weird] ""that's wrong"" other contestant: ""salmon?"" host: ""correct"""

"Remember that time you were reluctant to test my latest invention ""amnesia pills"" but did anyway? ""No"" excellent."

"Why didn't the vegan gamble at the meat raffle? Didn't want a brisket"