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Joke of the Day

"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."

"Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!"

"Boy ant: Feel like a swim? Girl ant: Can't, I'm not boy ant."

"If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened."

"An oldie but goldie! *How do you stop a charging bull?* ***Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! ~Skip"

"delete cookies? WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?! I LOVE COOKIES."

"Why did the police chief tell his officers to show up 15 minutes early to the political demonstration? To beat the crowds."

"If Reese Witherspoon doesn't call her poop ""Reese's Feces"" she's missing out on a clear opportunity to be awesome."

"Why should you never race with a guy from Finland? Because they're already Finnish before the race even began"

"I have sex almost every day! Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday..."