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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my microwaves... ... cold on the outside, and kills any baby that you put inside."

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it."

"Doctor, Doctor!! I think my wife is dead. What do you mean you ""think"" she's dead, either she is or she isn't. Well, the sex is the same but the dishes in the sink are piling up."

"How Does Baby Hitler Tie His Shoes? With itty-bitty knotsies"

"I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology.... It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time."

"The rotation of the earth really makes my day."

"Why wasn't the vampire killed? The vampire hunter made a miss-stake."

"In order to save space, Ricky Gervais & Seth McFarlane are both one guy now. Frankly, it's been a long time coming"

"Abra abracadabra. I wanna reach out and stab ya."

"Grow Your Own Vegetables by Rosa Carrotts"