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Joke of the Day

"My gay friend got stoned today. I told him Saudi Arabia was not a good honeymoon destination but he didn't listen."

"I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant and then complain there is a hare in my food."

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."

"What do you call a poodle that serves coffee? A Bark-ista! I said a bark-ista Coral."

"What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)"

"I didn't realize how cold it was outside today... ... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets"

"When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the ""math"" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes."

"Your ""COEXIST"" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace."

"A girl I know got collagen injections in her butt. Now she looks like a smuggler's desk. She's got a false bottom in her drawers. Just thought of that one today."

"I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11."