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Joke of the Day

"I didn't realize how cold it was outside today... ... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets"

"What's the difference between eating pussy and smoking a cigarette? The taste changes the closer you get to the butt. *what do they have in common. soz about that"

"""IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--"" ""stop rapping, Grandma"" ""--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"""

"Covering your ears and screaming ""OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN"" is not appreciated by your coworkers. Apparently."

"Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room."

"A male frog calls a medium line and he is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog. ""Will it happen at a ball?"" he asks. ""no , in a biology class"""

"Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them."

"What does a soviet call someone with good vision? Glasnots."

"I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"