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Joke of the Day

"One liner. I have a cold. The stuff that's coming out of my nose could turn turtles into ninjas."

"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."

"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"

"What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand? Respiridol"

"What has 100 legs but can't walk? 50 pairs of pants."

"Did you hear about Russia's preservation new project? The Crimea River"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints"

"My New Year's resolution is to stop telling Dad jokes, shouldn't be that hard, I never joke about my father."

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard. Edit 1: Why was my title and username changed?"

"Mike's Hard Lemonade is basically Kool-Aid with a squirt of Purell in it."