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Joke of the Day

"Way less people would sneeze in public if we replaced ""bless you"" with ""nice filthcloud."""

"What is the difference between your mom and Kim Kardashian? One is a dirty whore and the other is Kim Kardashian."

"Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father."

"The Passion of the Christ 2: Jesus in Space He conquered the sins of the world, but can he conquer the sins of the galaxy?"

"Girls love when you hug them from behind and whisper sweet nothings in their ears. Strangers, not so much."

"Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them."

"Hi I'm German... Did you really expect me to make a joke?"

"I hugged someone else's mom at a park once and now mine won't pick me up bc I smell like other mom now"

"I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now"

"Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease."