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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between your mom and Kim Kardashian? One is a dirty whore and the other is Kim Kardashian."

"I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them."

"If you're a girl and you get a ticket for going 5-10 over the speed limit, you might want to think about plastic surgery."

"Why does Edward never leave Russia? He's always Snowden."

"*tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*"

"Interviewer: Any questions? Me: On the sitcom Friends, how come the only couch at the coffee shop was always available for them?"

"HEY DUMMIES WHEN YOU SHAZAM A SONG YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD THE PHONE UP BECAUSE ITS JUST A SONG AND SOUND GOES EVERYWHERE."

"I see said the blind man... ...as he picked up his hammer and saw."

"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the cake #funniestjokeevernotreallyyesreally"