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Joke of the Day

"I hugged someone else's mom at a park once and now mine won't pick me up bc I smell like other mom now"

"Whats white on top and black on the bottom? Society."

"""If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you-"" *interrupting* haha, he said prick"

"TIL that constipation is hereditary. My dad never gave a shit."

"I always wondered why my girlfriend's ex had his fist clenched when he saw me with her. Then it hit me."

"One good thing has come from the Ebola virus The white nations might have a chance of winning a marathon next Olympics."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women only want things that are 20% off."

"Vanilla Ice should be President If there's a problem, yo, he'll solve it."

"If they ever start charging for air... I'll buy a bag of chips, at least it will be a package deal."

"When playing tug of war with a 2yo, it's best to remember they're pulling really really hard and holy shit they travel fast when you let go"