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Joke of the Day

"Girls love when you hug them from behind and whisper sweet nothings in their ears. Strangers, not so much."

"Girlfriend told me she wanted to see our kids so I came in her eye"

"Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time."

"A man once offered me a job selling fog, but I said no Looking back, I think it was a mist opportunity."

"A Dad picks his son up from school Dad: what did you learn at school today, son? Son: apparently not enough, I have to go back tomorrow."

"There are two types of people in the world. 1. Those that can finish lists."

"I almost had a threesome last night... Just needed two more people."

"Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early."

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"Why did the gingers shoe break Because it had no sole."