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Joke of the Day

"How do you catch a unique lion? Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame lion? tame way! Zingo!"

"What does the ""L"" stand for in Samuel L. Jackson? Motherfucking It stands for motherfucking"

"For every person pleased at meeting their TC in real life. Another 762 are climbing out of bathroom windows and smashing their phone."

"Make the little things count. Teach midgets math"

"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns ""No no no!"" Into ""Mmm mmm mmm!"""

"I read the following headline in the paper today: ""Woman Beats Off Attacker"""

"Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes."

"I think from now on...I'm going to start referring to the crease on my double chin, as an ""extra smile""."

"That dress looks great on you, but it would look even better on my floor. *buys identical dress, throws it on the ground*"

"What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted? Crusty"